


Ophiuchus

by Ollie_Mor



Series: On the Borderline [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, Flashbacks, Gen, Headcanon, I got into the thousands and figured "I could stop about now", Identity Issues, Panic Attacks, Snakes, Stream of Consciousness, a lot of it, but it kept going and going, they happened completely on accident guys, those two are intertwined but very minor, who put those there?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24964066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ollie_Mor/pseuds/Ollie_Mor
Summary: It would be difficult for Janus to describe his lies. Others might be able to piece it together with the little clues from each of their interactions, but really, who could expect them to? Why bother with the words of a liar?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: On the Borderline [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813171
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	Ophiuchus

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, this might be awfully confusing as a stand-alone. However, I can give you the lowdown: Janus' room is filled with snakes that are embodiments of lies and truths. For a side to properly duck out, they need to steal one of his lies. Virgil did this to conceal himself from the others, nullifying his influence over Thomas and prompting the events of Accepting Anxiety.
> 
> Bold+italicized words are pathological lies and/or very aggressive sarcasm. Unbold italics are just for emphasis or (in multiple instances) to distinguish the past from the present.
> 
> I hope this concept interests you and you feel compelled to check out the rest of this series!

It would be difficult for Janus to describe his lies. Others might be able to piece it together with the little clues from each of their interactions, but really, who could expect them to? Why bother with the words of a liar?

Logic could take notes and nod and click his pen as he paired up clues, seeking out the edge pieces to a puzzle that was always growing. Morality could deny and cry and hope that that the lies would go away but always inevitably come crawling back to the comfort of a fake smile. Creativity could play along and fight in opposition and act as if the suspension of disbelief weren't a quaint little way of lying to yourself. Anxiety could bite and hiss and growl out warnings that Deceit was the quickest way to get caught while insisting that they keep everything locked shut. 

All of them could dismiss his utility, yet none of them could last very long without him. They could twist his words, those carefully spun truths that stained his tongue, playing around, pretending to misunderstand... They could take facts as fabrications and fibs as evidence.

Virgil was already steadily recontextualizing each bitter truth that he spoke as another one of his tricks. 

_They fear you only for the act you're putting on..._

_You don't have to fear their judgement..._

_...I'll make sure that you regret this._

_Don't mistake my intentions._ **_I'm not doing this for you, Virgil._ **

Okay... maybe that last one _was_ a lie.

He flopped onto his bed, and reality hit him like a freight train. He'd thought that his mind had been the only one clear when Virgil had ducked out. Now, he could feel his head being dragged down from the stormclouds into the turmoil that raged below. Even as the most lucid of the sides, his acumen had been clouded. He realized something with his head tucked between the mattress and a pillow he'd shoved over his ears and eyes and nose and mouth to make everything stop.

In the fog of Virgil's absence... his filter had faltered, resulting in him communicating more truths than he would commonly allow. The very notion of that loss of restraint left him shivering... or that could be the ungodly temperatures of the subconscious... 

A bitter sourness plagued his mouth despite him having brushed his teeth to the point of rubbing his gums raw. Some truths were pleasant, like black tea or dark chocolate. However, if he went on telling them for too long, which had never been a threat, this awful taste would afflict the back of his tongue and wouldn't go away.

 _"Like earwax!"_ Remus once related.

Yes... like earwax.

The flavour was comparable to earwax, and no matter how many lies he rehearsed to himself now, in the solitude of his room, he was just masking it with the aftertaste of prepackaged pastries.

How ** _delightful._ **

At his side, the python he'd retrieved from Virgil hissed. He sighed, lifting the serpent and watching with dull amusement as it travelled between his arms. "You're a troublesome little lie, aren't you?"

The reptile responded by coiling on his chest and hissing once more, this time with purpose. 

**_Thomas is better off without you._ **

The serpentine side chuckled, running an ungloved hand over the figment's silver scales. "Now, how could anyone ever believe such a thing, dear?" the liar inquired in a tone that one might use with a child. "A little more tact is needed to fool others." 

The python's only response was the same, stinging hiss: **_Thomas is better off without you._ **

Unconsciously, the liar stuck out his tongue to test the statement. Hershey's milk chocolate, a sweet treat one could indulge in over and over again that ultimately resulted in that same astringent aftertaste assaulting their tastebuds. The longer one dwelled on such falsehoods, the more authentic they felt, and personal truths were always a tricky matter for his senses to deal with. 

It was such a prevalent vulnerability among sides... therefore, it made sense to him that the lie took the form of a constrictor, a large one at that... It was a snake that would strike and subsequently strangle its prey... 

Nevertheless, any handler of snakes will tell you that the key to avoiding such a situation was control.

**_Thomas is better off-_ **

Janus hissed out a little laugh, interrupting the figment with a tap to its nose. It flicked its tongue at his finger in response. "Truly a troublesome little lie... how I wonder why he would choose you..."

The serpent hissed more passively this time, slithering onto the arm raised before it. 

"Even a fib like yourself is needed, darling," the liar cooed, sitting up. He ran his fingers over the reptile's scales and marvelled at their glow. Virgil was the only side he'd ever revealed his ophidian figments to... After all, he didn't suppose that the roundabout way Remus figured out his room could be counted as a proper unveiling. No... Virgil had been different... Virgil had to earn his trust over the years.

_ << Janus smiled as he watched a particularly comforting truth curl around his ally, soothing him after a particularly disheartening interaction with the so-called Light Sides. He hummed a disjointed tune as the serpent offered succour that was more felt than it was heard. >> _

While coiling around its master's arm, the figment hissed once more. **_Thomas... better... without..._ **

"You are precious, my dear. While the revelation you represent is false, it inspires humility. Some of us are distinctly lacking in that." The duplicitous side stood from his bed and carried the python over to an enclosure. 

**_Thomas... Thomas..._ **

"Yes, you do your best to help, but unfortunately, you are the most efficient as a one-off thought that is immediately rebuked." He opened the enclosure and lowered his hand into it. The serpent slithered down his arm and onto a ledge. It stared up at his retreating hand, flicking its tongue in wonder. As he went to close the tank, hisses from other lies rang in his ears. 

**_I do more harm than good._ **

**_I'll never be strong enough for him._ **

**_I'm A-Okay, kiddo! I'm not- I'm really not upset._ **

**_They did not hurt my feelings; I cannot feel._ **

Janus huffed at those last three before closing the sliding door to the enclosure. He'd already dealt with Virgil's self-deceptions today, which meant it was only a matter of time before another one of these lies gets volatile. 

He sat by the tank, staring through the glass at the silver serpents he kept. If they were real snakes, he supposed that the term to describe them would be axanthic. He remembered the word from late nights in Logan's library searching for herpetological information upon first finding these ophidian figments. He recalled the paranoia that flooded his mind, a voice that sounded distinctly like Virgil telling him to get out before he was caught that he ignored in favour of peering through lensless glasses at an encyclopedia and fidgeting with a finicky tie. Notwithstanding all the knowledge he had accrued those sleepless nights, none of the same caretaking seemed necessary in handling the delusions and actualities. No feeding, no cleaning, even keeping them in an enclosure wasn't required for their wellbeing.

It was for Thomas' safety that he kept them locked up.

The one Virgil had stolen was fortunately much smaller than would be expected, seeing as it was a lie left unspoken. Given a chance, it had the potential to grow to a size where it could fully engulf one of them.

He'd never let that happen.

Janus stood, casting a short look at the tank before crossing the room to another. The lies were doing well enough, but he was curious as to the state of the truths. Serpents that sparkled gold greeted him when he opened the enclosure. Unlike with the fibbing figments, he wasn't met with a bombardment of hisses. Repression did that.

"You dears were always much **_less_** demure, weren't you?" With that, he reached his hand in, offering it as a branch for a python to climb onto. "Come now, which one of you is particularly needy today?"

From his observations, the truthful figments operated by separate rules from the lies. The amount an accurate revelation was vocalized had little bearing on its build; instead, its influence on Thomas was the main contributor. Small facts such as Logan and Patton needing their glasses to see despite the frames having no lenses could fit in the palm of Janus' hand. What the sides' name reveals lacked in terms of size, they made up for in weight. As his brain recalled these facts, a rather large figment climbed up his extended arm. 

Pulling his hand from the tank, he studied the snake and resealed the enclosure. It took the form of an albino reticulated python, making it exceedingly large and powerful. The liar needed three of his arms to support the creature as it slithered towards his shoulder. "Hm... and what do you say?" As the truth coiled around his body, he gently stroked its scales, feeling its muscles tense under his touch. Clinging to him, as if afraid of falling, the serpent whispered in his ear.

_You care about him._

_ << They only had each other, and that was to their detriment. No one goes into that kind of relationship with the foresight that it won't last. But the liar had, and who's to say that hadn't been a factor in their estrangement? Still, Janus remembered how pleasant it felt to make him laugh. A hesitant smile directed at him- only_ **_him-_ **_> > _

It took every fibre in Janus' being to not rip the python from his body and throw it away from himself. If he were less astute, he could write it off as being about Thomas. However, he was not oblivious, nor was he foolish enough to sedate his own mind with self-delusions. "That has no bearing on my ability to function," the duplicitous side seethed back. 

The snake seemed to take that as a challenge, as it hissed back louder: _You care about him._

"I care **_only_** for his function as Thomas' Anxiety."

Behind him, a new hiss rang out.

**_I only care about him for as long as he's of use._ **

Janus spun around and swore at the sight of a silver serpent lying on his bed.

Goddammit, he hadn't been lying; he was not subject to these feelings. His only purpose was to protect Thomas, and any divergence from that job was detrimental, and therefore, unworthy of his time. He could not afford to not be taken seriously. He was _not_ the emotional side, he was-

The reptile that curled around his body squeezed him tenderly, driving the breath from his lungs and forcing him to realize that he was hyperventilating.

Taking a laborious breath, Janus closed his eyes. That was right... he wasn't Morality, but neither was he Logic. Feelings, sentiment, weakness... it all was welcome so long as he could keep it under wraps. He was safe, he needn't fear what others think about him, not with his reputation. "This is no matter to be distraught over," he assured himself, and, just like that, his mind was clear. The liar tensed as the second snake climbed up his leg. Exhaling deeply, he relaxed his body and accepted the company: two contradicting statements. One could only speak in truths, and the other could only answer in lies. However, unlike most, Janus had the benefit of perspicacity. 

Opening his eyes, he was greeted by a pair of faces... but what question would he ask?

**_I only care about him for as long as he's of use._ **

Something about that statement tasted off. Something was lying dormant under that initial saccharine flavour. The cause could be the source of the claim. Rarely did Janus' own false claims manifest. It would be a nightmare if all of them did. Flicking his tongue, he tasted electricity in the air... the petrichor after heavy rains... the rough voice that delivered those words rumbled like thunder...

This was not his lie.

_You care about-_

He shushed the golden-scaled reptile before smirking down at the delusion. "You've slithered a long way, beauty. Tell me, how is our dear old stormcloud?"

**_I only care about him for as long as he's of use._ **

Janus scoffed, looking away. "Yes, perhaps I should have expected that." Stroking the silver snake, which was about the size of a ball python, he hummed thoughtfully. "Who could you be referring to, however? My first and only guess would be Prince Roman, after all, Virgil has had a terribly turbulent relationship with him until very, very recently. Nonetheless, it's shockingly dreadful to think he could have such a harsh view on dear Princey after that lovely confession he gave today." 

As Janus gabbed on, the smaller snake began wrapping itself around the body of the considerably bigger serpent still in his possession.

"Ah, that would not be wise, little lie-"

**_I only-_ **

_You care about him._

_ << "If you so wish, I _**_can't_ ** _leave you to your own devices."_

_Virgil flinched, his head snapping in Janus' direction. "A-are you kidding? These things are deadly, aren't they?"_

_A smile played on his lips at the other's mortified expression. "Not particularly."_

_"Don't fuck around," the anxious side grunted, trepidation tinting his words. "I know that this thing could bite me if you're not nearby."_

_"So," he drawled, not even bothering to bite back his smirk, "what you're saying is that you... appreciate my company?"_

_The emo rolled his eyes, a grin pulling at his lips. "Whatever, I'm just taking advantage of your ability to control these things. My reasons are one-hundred percent selfish."_

_The liar chuckled, shaking his head. "Keep telling yourself that, V. One day, it might manifest here." >> _

Oh... _Oh._ Janus laughed mellifluously, a pleasant feeling of nostalgia clouding his thoughts. So that's how the emo felt... how fortunate that they shared that sentiment.

Gingerly, he pulled the reptiles from his body, the task requiring all six of his arms. As he looked upon the two and how the smaller clung to its larger counterpart, an idea came to mind. "You make a handsome pair, don't you?" That earned him a short hiss from the lie. The truth, on the other hand, paid him no mind and instead concentrated on the goal of tangling itself in the duplicitous side's limbs. It was rare that he could cohabitate fallacies and facts. Too often, they warred over their respective places in Thomas' mind. Notwithstanding, if these two were already so tolerant with each other, what was the harm of killing two birds with one stone?

_You care about him._

**_I only care about him for as long as he's of use._ **

One could soothe the other, lessening its impulse to make itself heard. The other would suppress the other's incessant nagging.

_You care..._

**_I... care..._ **

_You..._ **_I only..._ ** _care about him._

Despite himself, Janus felt the corners of his mouth upturn at the bitterness of the words. The flavour was comparable to an earthy tea. "I'll have to place you two somewhere separate from the others..." he hummed. "You will be isolated... but you will have each other," he reassured the pythons, more for himself than for either of them. At times, he doubted that the figments had any meaningful comprehension of his words. 

Just as he felt himself slipping into that path of reflection, one of the serpents surged forward and bumped its nose against his own. His train of thought derailed; Janus stared at the snake with an almost startled expression. He found it impossible not to laugh while those blank, beady eyes stared at him. "I **_definitely can't_** read the room. No more delay." Snapping with a free hand, he conjured a habitat for them to live in. Carrying the two over, he spoke: "This has certainly **_not_** been an enlightening chain of events." When he was close enough, the golden snake in his hands slithered into the enclosure, taking its silver companion with it. After closing the tank, he found his bed calling him from the other side of the room. 

As if entranced, he found himself lying down with no recollection of walking the distance to his bed. 

Ultimately, he was back where he started, his tongue carrying an acidulated blandness as his restless mind searched for some issue to dissect. Closing his eyes, he felt the beginning of a migraine afflicting his temples. With the world painted black, all his mind could conceive of was the grim atmosphere of Virgil's room. There, time expedited to alarming speeds, and thoughts shot past you like the roaring winds of a hurricane. Fact and fiction were muddled, seeking to find the distinction was attempting to taste-test with a head cold. In that dark corner of Thomas' subconscious, surrendering control had the same decompressing qualities as submerging oneself in a bath of menthol... that is to say, not at all unless you are a madman like Remus. 

Biting his tongue, Janus hoped he'd never have to find the duke unconscious in an ice bath with a butter knife pressed threateningly close to where his kidneys resided ever again. He'd best not give the royal any new ideas involving bathrooms. Janus was unaware if your average bathtub could hold a lethal dosage of menthol, and frankly, he was not fighting for the opportunity to find out.

With a laboured sigh, the serpentine side blindly searched the mattress for something to cover him, too exhausted to give the idea of opening his eyes a second thought. _Too many cold thoughts,_ he'd lament if he had the energy to speak. It never did the snake any good to concentrate on the cold. Just thinking about it made it all the more unbearable because it brought back to his attention all the tiny things over which he had no control. Layering never helped. Burying himself in blankets never accounted for the ice in his fingers and toes. 

In his flailing, one of his right arms bumped into something hard on his bedside table. Ah, the lamp. That would do.

A large heat lamp sat by his bed that Patton and Roman would rubberneck at, and Logan would label a potential fire waiting to happen. Janus flicked the machine on after a moment of fumbling. The whole world could burn for all he cared, he was freezing. As the bulb heated up, his left hand found the corner of his quilt and tugged it over his body. He tucked his head under a pillow, and his thoughts gradually slowed until they no longer bothered him. 


End file.
